8 Reasons Why You Should Kiss on the Second Date
Wondering when you should have a first kiss with someone new?
Here’s why you should kiss on the second date — not the first date and not the third date, but precisely the second date.
8 Reasons Why You Should Kiss on the Second Date
Kissing on the second date may just be the best thing you can do for a budding relationship.
1. You’re both more relaxed
First dates can often feel like an audition, with both people trying to make a good impression on the other. Dating anxiety is common and makes a lot of people nervous on first dates.
On first dates, there’s often a sense of pressure and nerves that can make it difficult to develop a natural flow of intimacy.
The second date, meanwhile, is typically more relaxed. You both feel more comfortable. You probably have some rapport and a feel for each other’s personalities. There’s less pressure to impress, and you can focus more on genuinely enjoying each other’s company.
The best first kisses happen organically and when both people are feeling relaxed and fully comfortable. That’s more likely to happen on a second date than a first date.
Read: Creating Chemistry on a First Date: 7 Tips for Feeling a Spark
2. Waiting until the second date creates anticipation
Another reason why the second date is ideal for a first kiss is that it creates anticipation. It allows you and your date to wonder about what your first kiss will be like after the first date.
This anticipation, build-up, and growing attraction makes for a more romantic and exciting situation come the second date.
The more eagerly you anticipate something exciting, the better it feels when you then get to experience that thing.
Let your first kiss be a craved experience.
3. Let your first kiss build on an existing connection
A first date is about testing the waters and getting to know each other, forming that initial connection.
Kissing on the second date can build on that connection and deepen the bond you’ve already started forming with your date. That’s largely because kissing causes your brain to release oxytocin, which is a love hormone that promotes emotional bonding.
When you share your first kiss on the second date, that kiss can go so much further than it would have on the first date. It can create a sense of intimacy and closeness that can further ignite the budding spark between you and your date.
Read: 5 Signs of Chemistry on a First Date: How to Know It Went Well
4. A second date kiss expresses clear interest and intent
Initiating a first kiss is a clear way to signal your interest and intent towards escalating a physical connection with your date.
It shows that you’re attracted to them and are open to exploring a more intimate relationship.
By expressing this intent on the second date, rather than later on, you open the doors to deeper experiences on the dates ahead.
5. Going in for a kiss shows confidence
Making the move to kiss your date early on demonstrates your confidence.
It shows that you’re willing to take risks and express your feelings and desires, which are attractive qualities when done with consent and respect.
Waiting to kiss after the second date could lower budding interest by hinting at some hesitation.
Read: 4 Reasons Why Confidence is So Attractive
6. Kissing breaks the physical barrier
Developing physical intimacy is a natural part of a budding relationship, and a kiss on the second date can be a great way to break that physical barrier at an appropriate time.
When it goes well, the first kiss creates a sense of comfort and familiarity with each other’s touch, which can invite further physical intimacy as the relationship progresses.
It can also open the door for more meaningful physical connection, such as handholding, cuddling, or other displays of affection.
7. Kissing on the second date helps you discover compatibility
A first kiss reveals important information about compatibility between you and your date.
It can help you understand how well you and your date connect on a physical level as you swap loads of genetic and physiological information (yes, you pass on some DNA when you kiss).
Kissing can also give you insights into each other’s preferences, boundaries, and comfort with physical touch, which can be helpful to know early on in a relationship.
When you’ve kissed on the second date and it went well, you can go into the third date confident in your compatibility.
Read: Which is the Best First Date? Coffee vs Drinks vs Dinner
8. Kissing early on can help you avoid the friendzone
If you have a record of being friendzoned by romantic interests, then it’s best to go for the kiss early on in dating someone.
If you wrap up the second date with no kiss, then you risk being friendzoned.
Kissing earlier on in dating can help you show your interest in a romantic relationship and make it clear to your date that you’re in this as more than a friend.
How to Kiss on the Second Date
Wait until the end of the date
Ideally, you should wait until the end of the date to go for a first kiss.
In fact, research shows that around 90% of people say it’s best to have a first kiss at the end of a date, rather than during the middle of the date.
Create the right ambiance
The right place and time can enhance the mood for a good kiss.
Go for your first kiss in a location that is at least somewhat private and intimate, where you can be with your date without distractions.
Take your time
Don’t rush into the kiss. Allow yourself and your date to build up the tension and anticipation in the moment.
Be flirty and make good eye contact. Let the chemistry and connection between you and your date build naturally and capitalize on that chemistry with a kiss.
Start with a gentle touch
When the moment feels right for the first kiss, start with a gentle touch. This can be a brush of your hand against your date’s hand, a touch on their arm, or a gentle caress of their cheek.
Be attentive to their reaction and make sure they are comfortable with the physical contact before moving in for the kiss. Starting with a gentle touch can help set the tone for a romantic and passionate kiss on the second date.
Be mindful of consent and respect your date’s boundaries
Consent is crucial in any physical intimacy, including kissing. Always make sure that your date feels fully comfortable with your movements and intentions before proceeding in for the kiss.
If your date shows any signs of hesitation or discomfort, respect their boundaries and back off. If signs are ambiguous, ask for verbal consent before initiating a kiss.
Be present in the moment
Being fully present in the moment will make kissing on the second date all the more enjoyable for both you and your date.
Put aside any distractions and bring your full attention to the connection between you and your date. Be in tune with their cues and respond to their movements and reactions.
Be gentle and responsive
A good kiss is a mutual, responsive, and sensitive experience.
Go in for the kiss gently and be responsive to your date’s body language. Pay attention to their body movements, their kissing rhythm, and their level of comfort.
Savor the moment after the kiss
Once you both pull back from the kiss, savor that moment.
Make good eye contact with your date and enjoy the moment with them. If it feels natural, smile at them and initiate more light physical touch, like a hug or lightly touching their face or hair.
We Kissed on the Second Date. Now What?
If you kissed someone on a second date, then what happens next depends on how both of you feel about each other and what you want from the relationship.
Here are some things to consider:
Reflect on Your Feelings
How did the kiss make you feel?
Were you excited? Happy? Nervous? Take a moment to check in with yourself.
If you felt good after the kiss, then that’s a sign you should plan a third date to see this person again.
Communicate
One idea is to just talk to your date about how they felt about the kiss and the date in general.
Good relationships are built on open communication. Even if it feels a bit awkward, it can feel good in the end to to ensure that you’re both on the same page.
Think About What You Want
Are you looking for a serious relationship, something casual, or just exploring your feelings?
Knowing what you want can help you decide what to do next.
Continue Dating
If both of you felt good about the date and the kiss, continue to go out and spend more time together.
You don’t have to rush things. Just enjoy the process of getting to know each other.
Take Things at Your Own Pace
Every relationship moves at its own pace.
Don’t feel pressured to move too quickly or to slow things down based on others’ opinions or societal standards.
The Risk of Not Kissing on the Second Date
The second date is the best time to have a first kiss with someone new.
Ending a second date without a kiss may send mixed signals or create uncertainty about the direction of the relationship.
Your date may interpret the lack of kiss sign that you’re not interested in them or as a sign that you’re not ready for a more intimate connection. This can lead to confusion and miscommunication.
Ending the second date without a kiss can also kill the momentum you and your date have built up together, assuming your two dates have gone well. That could slow down the budding relationship and cause your date, or you, to become less interest or excited.
In those first few dates, it’s important to develop attraction and connection, and a lack of any physical intimacy like kissing can slow down that process.
Ultimately, a second date kiss is a powerful way to deepen the emotional intimacy between you and your date. It can create a sense of closeness, trust, and vulnerability between partners.
Kissing on the second date is a great opportunity to establish emotional intimacy and go into the third date on a high note.
How to use dating apps to land more dates
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Further reading:
Going for a Kiss on the Third Date: What to Know
11 Pros & Cons of Kissing on the First Date
10 Reasons Why You Keep Having Bad First Dates