Starting a conversation on Tinder can be hard.
These tips will make it easier.
It can be tough to come up with ideas for what to talk about, what questions to ask, and most importantly what opener to send on Tinder to get a conversation started.
Ghosting is common on Tinder. Many people simply don’t write back to their match’s opening messages. That means the majority of Tinder convos die out before they even start.
Sending your match a good opening line on Tinder is incredibly important if you want to up your chances of hearing back from your match.
So, what does it take to write a good conversation starter on Tinder?
We launched a new research project to find out.
We conducted a study to discover the best ways to start a conversation on Tinder.
At The Match Lab, we study the science of online dating. We conduct research to discover new ways to get more matches, have better conversations on dating apps, and convert more matches into first dates.
We wanted to find out why most conversations on Tinder fail and what people can do to have better conversations with matches.
In our study, we surveyed 100 people around the United States. All of the people we surveyed were single and actively using Tinder. We asked them about their experiences messaging people on Tinder and analyzed their responses to figure out what works and what doesn’t work. From our analysis, we discovered 19 tips for writing good Tinder openers that effectively start conversations.
Before getting into our tips for writing the best Tinder openers, let’s make sure you’re using your best Tinder profile possible.
If you want to get high-quality matches on Tinder, it's important to use the right profile pictures and have a good bio.
How to find out which photos you should be using on Tinder:
From years of conducting research on Tinder profiles, we’ve created a dating photo analyzer that reveals your best pictures for Tinder. Simply upload some photos of yourself, and our analyzer will show you which photos to use in your profile and in which order to put them.
How to write your best Tinder bio:
Having a good Tinder bio in your profile is essential to complement your photos and attract matches. On Tinder, your bio gives people a sense of who you are, what makes you attractive, and often even what you’re looking for in a partner. But writing a good Tinder bio is hard.
If you’re looking for help with writing your Tinder bio, consider using our professional dating profile writing service. Our expert Tinder bio writer will polish up your profile for you by writing a bio that captures who you are in an attractive way.
Now, once you’re using a good profile that gets you plenty of matches on Tinder, it’s time to send good openers to your matches.
Let’s get to it.
Here are the results of our study:
How to write good conversation starters on Tinder. Here are our best Tinder conversation tips.
From our study, we identified 19 tips for starting a convo on Tinder. These tips highlight key features that good Tinder conversation starters have in common.
Tinder conversation starter tip #1: Don’t just say “hey”
The worst opener you can send on Tinder is something insulting or offensive.
The second worst opener is “hey” (or some equivalent like “hi” or “hello”).
In our study, the people we surveyed told us over and over that they hate it when someone opens a conversation with “hey” on Tinder.
Just saying hi to your Tinder match may seem like an easy friendly way to greet them, but it’s a terrible way to start a conversation. Many people won’t respond to this at all, and many people who do respond will just say “hey” back. The conversation hasn’t gone anywhere, and you’re still right where you started before you messaged your match.
Saying hi doesn’t point the conversation any interesting or meaningful direction. When you just say “hey” to your match, you’re putting the responsibility on your match to now carry the conversation forward by writing something more interesting or meaningful in response. If you’re going to be the one to send the first message on Tinder, then it’s best if you send an opener that immediately gets a meaningful conversation going.
Tinder conversation starter tip #2: Be funny and crack a joke
Humor is attractive, and nearly everybody likes to laugh. Our study showed that without a doubt, funny Tinder openers are good Tinder openers.
Try to write something unique and original that your match hasn’t heard before. Too many people write cliché jokes or pickup lines that their match has heard tons of times before, and that’s boring and unengaging. If you have a funny side, let it show when you message people on Tinder.
Tinder conversation starter tip #3: Ask your match a question about something in their bio
If you want to have good conversations on dating apps, then ask more questions. The best questions you can ask someone on a dating app like Tinder is a question focusing on something they write in their bio.
If someone mentions something about themselves or an interest they have in their bio, they mentioned that thing for a reason. It’s something they want people to know about them and something they probably enjoy talking about.
If you’re looking for ideas for what to talk about on Tinder, the first place you should look is your match’s profile. Read their bio carefully and see what you can ask them about from it.
Tinder conversation starter tip #4: Ask your match a random question like “would you rather…”
If your match’s bio doesn’t give you anything to work with, then another good opener on Tinder is to ask your match some thought-provoking random question. Any type of “would you rather…” question makes for one of the best conversation starters on Tinder.
Tinder conversation starter tip #5: Use a cheesy pickup line
If it’s in line with your personality, then go ahead and start a conversation on Tinder by sending your match a cheesy pickup line.
This won’t work for some people, as many people we surveyed said they dislike it when people send any type of pickup line on dating apps. But many other people we surveyed did say they find cheesy pickup lines funny and a good way to start chatting with someone new.
Definitely avoid sending anything that is too generic or cliché which they’ve surely heard before. Try to be more eccentric and unique.
Tinder conversation starter tip #6: Make a comment about one of your match’s photos
One of the best ways to start a conversation on Tinder is to comment on one of your match’s photos. If they have a photo of a pet or a hobby of theirs, then either of those are perfect to comment on or ask them about. Most people love talking about their pets, hobbies, and interests.
If there’s a nice sight in one of their photos, ask them where that photo was taken. If you recognize a sight where one of their photos is from, then establish common ground by sharing that you’ve been there too and start a conversation about that place.
Tinder conversation starter tip #7: Mention what you were drawn to in your match’s profile
This Tinder tip will help you be more vulnerable and direct with your match, which are powerful ways to spark connection and attraction. In your first message, go ahead and tell your match what you like about them that led you to match with them. As a general rule of thumb, it’s best to avoid saying something about the person’s appearance. But if you do want to comment on how they look, then try to compliment their appearance in a unique way that nobody else has before.
Tinder conversation starter tip #8: Ask an open-ended question
This point cannot be stressed enough: Ask open-ended questions when you’re messaging someone on dating apps.
On Tinder, you should avoid asking questions that have one-word answers, like yes/no questions. It’s always better to ask open-ended questions because that gives your match the opportunity to contribute more to the conversation when they respond, which will give you both more possible things to talk about. The best questions to ask on Tinder are open-ended questions.
Here’s an example: Let’s suppose your match has a photo of themselves visiting New York City. Instead of asking your match “Did you like New York?” ask them “What did you think of New York?”
Tinder conversation starter tip #9: Find a common interest you two share and comment on that
Research shows that people are more attracted to others when they feel like they have things in common with them. A good way to start a conversation on Tinder is to see what you and your match have in common, based on what they have in their profile. Then, send them a message focused on that common thing. For example, your match mentions that they like reading, then ask them what they’ve read lately or share a book recommendation with them.
Tinder conversation starter tip #10: Send your match a compliment
Sending your match a compliment can be a thoughtful way to make them feel good about themselves, increasing the odds of them writing back to you and starting a conversation. Keep it respectful and appropriate.
Tinder conversation starter tip #11: Show that you’d like to get to know your match better
This is a general tip to keep in mind when writing to someone on dating apps: Express a genuine interest in getting to know your match better. In our study, the people we surveyed said they wish that more of their Tinder matches would show a clearer, more genuine interest in getting to know them for who they are.
Tinder conversation starter tip #12: Ask your match how their day is going or how their weekend was
This one is hit or miss: Some people we surveyed said they like this tip, other people said they don’t like it. Asking your match how their day is going is an easy conversation starter. It’s a simple and easy first message for your match to respond to. This type of question can be especially good if there happens to have just been a holiday, as you can then ask your match how their holiday was. The downside of this question is that it’s generic, and some people think it’s boring.
Tinder conversation starter tip #13: Ask your match about their pet
If your match has a photo with a pet in their profile, then ask them about their pet. Most people love their pets and love talking about their pets.
If your match does not have a photo of a pet and doesn’t mention a pet in their bio, then you can ask them if they have any pets. If they said they don’t, then a good follow-up question to this it to ask them if they would like to get a pet one day and what type of pet they’d like to get.
Tinder conversation starter tip #14: Ask your match what they like to do for fun
A simple “what do you like to do for fun?” is a great way to get to know someone. This question is one of the best ways to start a conversation on Tinder because people can answer it in an infinite number of ways. It gives your match endless possibilities to get a convo going by bringing up any of their hobbies, interests, passions, or talents.
Tinder conversation starter tip #15: Send something easy for your match to reply to
Here’s another general tip to keep in mind when writing to someone on dating apps: Make your openers easy for your match to reply to. Most people don’t want to have to think very hard when they’re on Tinder. The easier your opening line is to reply to, the more likely it is that your match will write back to it.
Tinder conversation starter tip #16: Be respectful and polite
Always be respectful toward people you match with on Tinder. This point came up a lot in our study. The people we surveyed said that far too many of their matches on Tinder have said things that are offensive and insensitive, which is always a huge turnoff.
Tinder conversation starter tip #17: Don’t say anything sexual
This tip will vary depending on your intentions and what your match is looking for. As a general rule of thumb, unless your match’s bio makes it clear that’s they’re here for a hookup and only a hookup, it’s best to refrain from saying something sexual in your opening line on Tinder.
Tinder conversation starter tip #18: Complement your message by adding an emoji
Emojis can be small yet powerful tools in online communication. A well-placed emoji can convey tone of voice, emotions, playfulness, sarcasm, humor, flirtatiousness, humility, and many other sentiments that help you connect with someone online. Using a thoughtful emoji or two in your Tinder opener can make it stand out and help get the conversation rolling.
Tinder conversation starter tip #19: Send an opener that will make your match smile
At the end of the day, humans are emotional creatures. We all want to feel good and we all want to surround ourselves with people who make us feel good. No matter what kind of opener you send your match on Tinder, try to send something that’ll make your match smile.
Want help getting more matches on Tinder?
Need help writing your Tinder bio or selecting your best profile pictures?
We’re here for you.
We at The Match Lab are experts in creating good dating profiles for apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and more. For years, we’ve been studying the science of dating profiles to figure out how people can get more likes, attract better matches, and get more dates in person.
Consider working with our professional dating profile writing service and have a professional Tinder profile writer write your bio for you.
If you’d like to make sure you’re using the best photos of yourself on Tinder, try our dating photo analyzer. Just upload some photos of yourself, and our algorithm will reveal which photos you should be using in your profile and the ideal order they should go in.