For many guys, starting a conversation with a woman on Hinge can be tough — and getting a response from a woman is even tougher.
Guys, just because you’ve matched with a woman doesn't mean she’ll respond to any opening message you send her on Hinge. And just because a woman replies to your first message doesn’t guarantee that she’ll continue a conversation with you. Good Hinge messages are essential if you want to keep your match interested.
If what to message women on Hinge and feel like you’re getting few responses, you're not alone. Many women have a long list of guys writing to them on Hinge, so it’s easy to get lost in her sea of messages. To get noticed and get a reply, you have to stand out from the crowd.
In this article, we'll share 15 tips for how to message women on Hinge, from sending the first message to asking her out for a date. By starting conversations off strong and continuing conversations beyond that first message, you can start having Hinge chats with women and increase your chances of landing more first dates.
Part 1: Sending a Good First Message on Hinge
The first part of messaging women on Hinge is to start a conversation. Here’s how to send good first messages on Hinge that start the chat off strong.
Hinge First Message, Tip #1: Read her profile carefully
Before sending a message, take the time to read a woman’s Hinge profile carefully. This will give you valuable insights into her interests, hobbies, and personality. Use this information to craft a message that's tailored to her and shows that you've taken the time to get to know her. The best first messages on Hinge are unique and written specifically for the person you’re messaging right now. Send her a message you couldn’t possibly have copied and pasted to anyone else.
Hinge First Message, Tip #2: Be genuine
Be genuine and authentic in your opening message. Don’t use any clichés or pickup lines. Mention something specific from her profile that caught your eye and use it as a conversation starter. For example, if she mentions her love for hiking, you could say, "I noticed you enjoy hiking. What's your favorite trail?"
Hinge First Message, Tip #3: Keep it light and playful
Humor is always a good way to break the ice and make someone laugh. Keep your message light and playful and avoid being too serious or formal. Don't be afraid to inject some personality into your message and let your sense of humor shine through.
Hinge First Message, Tip #4: Ask open-ended questions
Asking open-ended questions is a great way to start a chat on Hinge. Avoid asking yes or no questions, as they can make it difficult to connect and get to know someone. Instead, ask questions that require a more detailed response. These types of questions are the best first messages to send on Hinge because they give a woman the opportunity to share more about herself and keep the conversation going.
Hinge First Message, Tip #5: Show genuine interest
One of the best ways to start a conversation with a woman on Hinge is to send her a first message that shows genuine interest in getting to know her. Ask her a thoughtful question about something in her profile. Then, ask follow-up questions and show that you're engaged in the conversation. This will make her feel valued and appreciated and increase the chances of a successful conversation.
Part 2: Keeping a Conversation Going on Hinge
The second part of messaging women on Hinge is to keep the conversation going.
Starting the chat on Hinge can be challenging, and keeping it going can be even harder. After all, you don't want the conversation to die out and lose the chance to connect with someone you're interested in.
Here’s how to send good follow-up messages that keep a Hinge chat alive and well beyond that first opening message.
Follow-up Hinge Messages, Tip #1: Share something about yourself
Sharing something about yourself is a great way to keep the conversation going on Hinge. It gives the other person a chance to get to know you better and can lead to a more meaningful conversation. However, make sure not to dominate the conversation and allow the woman to share her thoughts and experiences as well.
Follow-up Hinge Messages, Tip #2: Ask questions
On that note, remember to ask your match questions. Open-ended questions, ideally. Most of your Hinge messages should include a question for your match. Ask questions that are on topic and further the topic of conversation you have going on. If you send a woman a message that doesn’t include any question, it’s less likely that she’ll feel a need to respond or even know what to respond at all, because the burden of keeping the conversation alive now falls on her.
Follow-up Hinge Messages, Tip #3: Keep the conversation light and playful
It's important to keep the conversation light and playful, especially in the early stages of getting to know someone. Ask thoughtful questions that help you get to know your match, and it can be good to disclose personal—even vulnerable—things about yourself, but just be careful not to go too deep too fast. Remember, you’re messaging someone you’ve never met before in person.
Follow-up Hinge Messages, Tip #4: Avoid controversial topics
While it's important to be authentic and honest, it's best to avoid controversial topics that can lead to heated debates or arguments with Hinge matches. Keep the conversation light and positive, and avoid topics that could be seen as offensive or controversial.
Follow-up Hinge Messages, Tip #5: Say something surprising
If you’re really stuck on what to message a woman on Hinge, just send her something random that’ll inject new life into the conversation. You could mention a new fact you learned that day, something interesting that happened at work, something that happened related to one of your hobbies, or something you’re excited to do this weekend. Anything goes. Remember, your match wants to have an interesting conversation just as much as you do. Give her something interesting to work with, even if it comes out of left field.
Part 3: Asking a Woman Out on Hinge
The third and final part of messaging a woman on Hinge is to ask her out for a first date.
Even nowadays as gender roles become more fluid and progressive, it is still the norm for guys to ask out a woman on Hinge. It’s rare that a woman will make this first move and ask out a guy (though it does happen now and then, of course – but don’t count on it).
So how do you ask someone out on Hinge? And when should you ask someone out?
Asking a woman out on Hinge can be nerve-wracking. However, it's an essential step if you want to take your online connection to the next level and meet in person. Here are some Hinge messaging tips that’ll help you ask her out for a first date.
Asking Her Out on Hinge, Tip #1: Build a connection first
Before asking a woman out on Hinge, it's important that you’ve built a connection with her first. This means having several messages back and forth to get to know each other better and gauge whether there is a mutual interest. Avoid asking her out too soon, as this can come across as too forward or pushy. She has to feel safe and comfortable meeting up with you.
Our research has found that most women want to be asked out by a guy on Hinge after she and he have exchanged 5-10 messages each.
Asking Her Out on Hinge, Tip #2: Be confident and direct
When you feel like there's a connection, and it’s been at least 5 messages each, it's time to ask her out. Be confident and direct in your approach. Don't beat around the bush or try to play it cool. Instead, be clear and concise in your message. For example, you could say, "I'm really enjoying talking to you, and I'd love to continue this conversation over coffee. Are you free next Saturday?"
Asking Her Out on Hinge, Tip #3: Suggest a specific activity
When asking a woman out, it's important to suggest a specific activity. This shows that you've put some thought into the date and have a plan in mind. Avoid generic suggestions like "we should hang out sometime." Instead, suggest a specific activity like grabbing coffee or going for a walk in the park.
Asking Her Out on Hinge, Tip #4: Respect her decision
No matter what she replies (or doesn’t reply), it's important to respect her decision. There could be many reasons why she may not want to go out, and it's important to respect her feelings and boundaries.
Asking Her Out on Hinge, Tip #5: Be flexible
Be flexible when it comes to scheduling the date. She may have a busy schedule, and it's you may need to work around her availability or meet up at a later date than you’d hoped. Be open to suggestions and willing to compromise on the date and time.
Hinge Messaging Mistakes: What Guys Do Wrong When Messaging Women
Unfortunately, many guys make mistakes that can turn women off on Hinge and ruin their chances of getting a response, let alone a first date. Here are some common mistakes guys make when messaging women on Hinge.
Hinge Messaging Mistake #1: Sending generic messages
One of the most common mistakes guys make is sending generic messages. These are messages that could be sent to anyone and don't show any effort or thought. Examples include "Hey, how are you?" or "What's up?" These messages don't stand out, and they don't give the woman a reason to respond.
Hinge Messaging Mistake #2: Focusing on physical appearance
Another mistake guys make is focusing too much on a woman’s physical appearance. While it's natural to be attracted to someone's physical appearance, messages that focus solely on physical appearance can come across as shallow and make women feel uncomfortable.
Hinge Messaging Mistake #3: Being too forward or pushy
Being too forward or pushy is another common mistake guys make when messaging women on Hinge. This includes asking personal or sexual questions too soon or suggesting meeting up too quickly. This can come across as aggressive or desperate and can turn women off.
Hinge Messaging Mistake #4: Clearly not reading her profile
Neglecting to read a woman’s profile is another common mistake guys make. This can make women feel like you're not interested in getting to know them as a person.
Hinge Messaging Mistake #5: Being too self-centered
Being too self-centered is another mistake guys make when messaging women on Hinge. This includes talking only about yourself and not showing an interest in her interests or experiences. This can make women feel like you're not interested in them and are egotistical.
Should You Send a Woman a Voice Message on Hinge?
The Hinge voice message is an interesting feature with pros and cons.
Pros of Sending Voice Messages on Hinge
1. They add a personal touch
One of the biggest advantages of sending a voice message on Hinge is that it adds a personal touch to your communication. Hearing someone's voice can help you get a better sense of their personality and can create a deeper connection than written messages.
2. They can convey tone and emotion
Voice messages also allow you to convey tone and emotion that can be difficult to express in written messages. For example, you can use tone of voice to convey humor, excitement, or sincerity. This can make your messages more engaging and memorable.
3. They can help you stand out from other matches
Very few people send voice messages on Hinge. By sending one, you can make yourself unique and stand out from the crowd.
Cons of Sending Voice Messages on Hinge
1. They can be awkward
Sending voice messages on Hinge can be awkward, especially if you're not used to hearing your own voice or if you're not sure how the other person will respond. It can also be difficult to find the right balance between being too formal and too casual.
2. They may not be accessible for everyone
Some people may not be able to listen to voice messages for a variety of reasons, such as hearing impairments or a noisy environment. This can limit the effectiveness and appropriateness of voice messages.
Whether or not you should send a match a voice message on Hinge ultimately depends on your personal preferences and the situation. Voice messages can add a personal touch and convey tone and emotion, but they can also be awkward, inaccessible, or inappropriate for certain situations.
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